Ketchup

There is really one of two reasons why we don't blog. Katie and I are either too bored or we are too busy. That is to say that we either have nothing to say or we have to much to say. And do. Minneapolis was a case of the former. Since leaving Minneapolis, two weeks ago, we have been in the whirlwind of the latter.

So, to play catch up (does the title make sense now?), here is the list of activities and our impressions over the past few weeks:

1. Went to Custer State Park in the Black Hills of South Dakota.
A. Beautiful.

2. Experienced Sturgis, the annual motorcycle rally
A. It looked like a middle-aged, middle-class, middled-bodied male refugee camp.

3. Saw the Crazy Horse Monument.
A. Ultimately, impressive though incomplete.
B. Really impressed by the story of the sculptor. Unlike Rushmore, this man worked alone for the first five years; he twice turned down $10 Million from the US Government. It took them fifty years just to finish the face. Actually, it was impressive that they finished the face, since the sculptor actually died twenty years before that.

4. Saw the "City of Presidents". The life size statues of presidents on the blocks around Rapid City
A. Personally slapped James Buchanan across the back of the head. He's had that coming for the past 150 years.

6. Moved in the herd of Buffalo.
A. Then ate a bison burger.
B. We were so close, we could have touched them. But we didn't. That would have been stupid.

7. Saw Rushmore.
A. First time we saw it was during their night presentation. We were expecting an overly patriotic rally. What we got was NPR ranger's twenty minute speech about Lewis and Clark expedition. My problem with that is that Lewis and Clark died without knowing the Black Hills existed.
B. Ultimately, Rushmore seemed unfinished. See our facebook pictures to see what Rushmore was supposed to look like.

8. Went to Wall Drugs
A. Wall Drugs gained it's fame when a pharmacists started to post signs next to the highway advertising free ice water. These signs went out for miles, even ending up throughout Europe during WWII, all advertising a drug store in Wall, SD. There are soldiers in Iraq posting those signs today. The sign next to the Taj Mahal says it’s “only 10,728 miles to Wall Drug.” This simple advertising turned this drug store into a gift shop that took over an entire town of 800, and still offers 5 cent coffee to it's two million annual visitors (Badlands National Park, which is literally next door, gets less than a million visitors a year). Katie's favorite part: when she found out that it was the wife's idea to put up the signs.

9. Went to the Badlands National Park.
A. Mike: Absolutely Amazing.
B. Katie: They're bad, Mike. Just Bad.

10. Drove through Nebraska/Kansas.
A. Saw the world famous Nebraska sand-dunes (before we found out that we drove through the world famous Nebraska sand dunes).
B. It's not that we live in a very large country; it's that we live in a very empty country. I figured that out when we almost ran out of gas.

11. Dwight D. Eisenhower Presidential Museum:
A. First of all: Sorry Grandma S.
B. The museum was horrible. An insult to what that man accomplished for the world.
C. West Point was Ike's safety school. His first choice was the Naval Academy in Annapolis

12. Will Roger's Museum
A. "Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. "
B. "I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat."
C. "I am an American. I'm not the kind that landed here on the Mayflower, but my people were there to wave hello as they came a-shore."
D. "I never met a man I didn't like."

13. Family in Tulsa.
A. Maya Angelou once said that the stage she was speaking on felt crowded; crowded with the family and ancestors that lived and helped blazed the trail that brought her to that stage. I learned that no matter how far out you hide, no matter how long you hide, no matter how thick your hide, when you come back to see your family, you'll find that a good chunk of them had been with you on that journey the entire time.

14. Clinton Museum
A. We sent him a video message wishing him a happy birthday. He may have fast-forwarded over our part.

15. Memphis
A. BBQ Tofu Nachos are AMAZING

16. Jensen's in Alabama
A. The farther a family member lives away from home, the quicker the family dirt comes out.
B. Katie also returned to Space Camp. Michael almost threw up.

17. Nashville
A. Nashville sucks. As a Red Wings fan, I don't get why you're hockey team is called the Predators. I've seen NBC's Dateline and I don't think those kind of predators would make a good mascot. Not with kids around.
B. And you're the home of the Country Music Hall of Fame. As a fan of Rock, that's like opening a museum honoring the individual Cardinals of the the Spanish Inquisition.
C. I'm glad the Grand Ole Opry got flooded. (Actually I'm not. A lot of people are out of work now because of that. That kind of sucks).
D. GO COLTS!

18. Chattanooga.
A. It has a choo-choo
B. Katie is becoming less tolerant of Michael's passion for tourists traps.

19. Atlanta
A. Wonderful time with a dear friend.
B. In his birth certificate, Jimmy Carter's father made a note that he would be call Jimmy "which would obviously be changed to Jim."
C. Before carving Abe Lincoln on Rushmore, Gutzon Borglum was carving a monument to Robert E. Lee on Stone Mountain. But the patrons of Stone Mountain became so pissed at him that not only did they fire him, but they blasted his completed carving off the mountain and started carving the monument all over again.

20. Knoxville
A. Home of the 1982 World's Fair. It made a profit of $57.

Trip Data

On the Road: 87, 88, 89, 90
Film Day: 57, 58
Starting Point: Nashville, TN
Ending Point: Knoxville, TN
Via: Chattanooga, TN, Atlanta, GA
Miles: 440, 243, ?, 213

Nobel Peace Prize seen: Jimmy Carter's.
Main theme of World of Coke: "Our marketing tricked you into liking Coke."
Oddity: The mountain carving of Jefferson Davis is 30 feet taller than the mountain carving of Abe Lincoln. What would the extra-terrestrial anthropologists of the future think?

Trip Data

On the Road: 84, 85, 86
Film Day: 55, 56
Starting Point: Memphis, TN
Ending Point: Nashville, TN
Via: Middle of Nowhere, MS; Florence, AL, Decatur, AL; Space and Rocket Center
Miles: 202, 280, 242
Number of stories of Saturn V rocket: 37
Number of times mike wanted to threw up on Saturn V rocket: 2
Number of years the fried chicken was voted best in nashville: 2 consecutive
Number of Confederate Flags: 17

Last one.

Number of pictures uploaded to our respective Facebook accounts: 187.

Thanks to those who enjoy sharing our trip.

Katie-isms

While leaving the Clinton Presidential Museum:
"I want to write a book about him and call it 'Between Two Bushes'"

To our Memphis bartender:
"Can I get my Yeungling to go?"

Trip Data

On the Road: 80, 81, 82, 83
Film Day: 54
Starting Point: Valentine, NE
Ending Point:Memphis, TN
Via: Salina, KS, Abilene, KS, Bartlesville, OK, Tulsa, OK, Little Rock, AR
Miles: 403, 344, 100, 427
Presidential Libraries Visited: Eisenhower, Clinton
Cost of beer in Arkansas: 50 cents
Beer options in Tulsa bar: 350
Estimated High in Memphis tomorrow: 116

Special thanks to Marilyn Keefer and Margaret Morhart for hosting us on two fantastic evenings in Oklahoma. They helped re-introduced a lost Morhart boy to his cousins and taught a bit more family history. All while having a genuinely fun, western time. Your gracious hospitality was much appreciated.

Katie - isms

In the buffalo heard:
- Am I going to get gored by a buffalo?
- No dear, you're in the car.
- But my window is open!

We were in the middle of the heard. At one point, if I opened my car door, I would have hit a calf with the door. We did get out of the car too. (Please note that buffalo are dangerous. Do not approach). One buffalo did grunt at Katie and then jogged across the road, about three feet away from her.

Wild Donkeys
"I don't want to get licked by an ass!"


Essentially what was about to happen to Katie.

Trip Data

On the Road:77, 78, 79
Film Day: 54
Starting Point: Sioux Falls, SD
Ending Point: Valentine, NE
Miles: 530, 304, 282
Via: Rapid City, SD; Crazy Horse Memorial, Deadwood, Mount Rushmore, Custer State Park, Badlands
Microbrews: 4
Number of times Katie said this about the Badlands National Park, "Their bad, Mike. Just bad.": 163
Most popular license plate in Mount Rushmore's parking lot: South Dakota
Number of presidential monuments seen: 42
Number of wild buffalo seen: 65 of a possible 1,500
What we did on our day off: Drove around for 300 miles.
Number of bikers seen: 325,000 and counting


Badlands National Park

This might have been a mistake

We were looking forward to South Dakota. We were looking forward to the seclusion and independence and the room to spread our wings. But then we found that we couldn't get a hotel room in Sioux Falls.

South Dakota has a population of 812,000. But every August, it seems like that population nearly doubles. This is because of the Sturgis Bike Rally. Everyone with a bike goes to Sturgis, SD. In 2008, that meant that 400,000 people go to a town that normally has a population of 6,400. It's supposed to be one of the 1,000 things you do before you die.

Normally, this bike rally occurs on the first week of August. Which was last week. But this year, it's this week.

So much for seclusion and remoteness.

The point is, we're not going to be posting anything for a bit. We have to find somewhere to sleep.

Trip Data

On the Road:76
Film Day: 53
Starting Point: Minneapolis, MN
Ending Point: Sioux Falls, SD
Miles: 440
Via: Albert Lea
Number of stores in the Mall of America:520+
Where Katie finally bought her skirt: Target

Trip Data

On the Road:74, 75
Film Day: 51, 52
Starting Point: Minneapolis, MN
Ending Point: Minneapolis, MN
Miles: 242, 214
Amount of time Katie spent shopping: 6 hours
Amount of stuff Katie bought: 0

Looking for recommendations. We are about to head to TN, WV, and KY. We are looking suggestions of things to do while we're there.

We also need suggestions on how to get there. We are leaving from Rapids City, WY to get to Knoxville, TN.

Should we visit Grandma Simms in Kansas City and the Stuckeys in St. Louis

Should we visit the Morharts in Tulsa, OK and drive through Arkansas

Send us a note to vote.

Discoveries

I've noticed that Katie and I post less when we are in a big city. The reason is simple: we aren't doing much. In fact, we're bored. We like it on the road. We like to explore. We like to make discoveries.

Mississippi Headwaters

The first white man to see the Mouth of the Mississippi was Hernando de Soto in 1541. It nearly took another 300 years before they found the Headwaters of the Mississippi. How did they finally manage to do it? Easy: they asked the indians in the area.


After Duluth, Katie and I made our own expedition to the headwaters of the Mississippi. We found that it starts its journey to the Gulf of Mexico by first going north. We found that the great state of Minnesota saw fit to widen the headwaters to accommodate the number of tourists who visit. We found that the river began its life as the drain to the spring fed Lake Itasca. And we found it to be very crowded.

We also found it to be inviting. After dipping our toes in the cold waters of Lake Superior, we were already in the mood for a swim in Lake Itasca. It was while swimming that I made a very important discovery myself. I remembered that there was a possibility that I left my car keys in my pocket, and I made the discovery that, if this memory was true, that they were no longer in my pocket. They were in effect beginning their 2,300 mile journey to New Orleans.

Good thing that I gave Katie the extra set of car keys. After all, a relationship is about sharing. To bad Katie discovered that she left the extra set of keys inside the locked car. We also discovered that cell reception still remains spotty in some state parks, but you can get wifi.

Kingsington Runestone

This shouldn't be here. Or at least that's what Olaf Ohman thought when he discovered an ancient stone with Nordic carvings cradled by the roots of a tree he was clearing out on his homestead. The experts agreed and said that the Swede immigrant from Douglas County, Minnesota had created an elaborate hoax. The experts continuously and publicly shamed the family for the ruse. Two of Olaf's children would end up committing suicide.



But the stone is real. In 1364, "when you're ancestor's were still swinging from trees", as Katie likes to put it, hers were exploring Minnesota. Now, when Katie wanted to take me to Alexandria, Minnesota to see this stone, I already knew it existed but thought it was a fake. I theorized that a Swedish immigrants brought the stone with them from Sweden or Norway, lost it, and it was rediscovered by Olaf. But the delightful museum showed me the errors of my prejudice thoughts and ignorance (the same prejudice thoughts and ignorance that made experts think the stone was fake). They have since found iron artifacts in Indian sites that could not have been made by indians. They were Norse in nature. These finds spread from North Dakota to Ohio.

To get a perspective of this, you have to keep in mind that the Vikings were building a castle on the exact site of Newport, Rhode Island before England became a country. England became a country in 1066, when it was invaded by William the Conquerer (who invaded from France but was Norse by heritage).

So what is the Runestone. Well, it essentially translates to: "8 Goths and 22 Norweigans on exploration journey from Vinland over the west. We camp by 2 skerries one day-journey from this stone. We were and fished one day. After we came home, 10 men red with blood and tourtured. Hail Virgin Mary, save from evil. Have 10 men by the sea to look after our ship, 14 day -journeys from this island year 1362."

Let me translate that for you: ..... Ahem.... "Holyshit, holyshit, holyshit, we're all going to die."

It's essentially a distress message left for the ten men (or perhaps future Viking expeditions) that basically explained what happened to the Vikings who left the stone. (Apparently the author left his name in code. His name was Ivar). Explorers often do this, including the Roanoke colony and one of the major British expeditions that got trapped in the ice while trying to cross the Great Northern Passage. (Though the Roanoke's distress message was a little less verbose. It simply said "Roanoke").

The museum's introductory film even revealed some anecdotal evidence from Norway that showed records of a boat headed to Vinland (what we call Newfoundland). It's mission was to do exactly what the explorers (some say missionaries) was intended to do. This boat came back about 18 months after the stone was carved and planted. But unfortunately fro Ivar, it only came back with ten men.

So what happened to the Vikings, the first to discover America, those that united Europe under one empire? Well, Christianity slowed them down a lot and ultimately toppled another empire (the first being the Romans of course). They also assimilated really, really well in the lands they invaded. The conquering raiders ultimately became conquered by those they raided. The vikings who invaded Ireland became Irish. Those that invaded Germany became German. Those that lived in North America became Native American. When French fur trappers made it to the region, they were surprised to find blonde hair and blue eyed native americans.

Life Lessons

If you write a novel entitledMain Street about a woman's disgust of the conservative and uncultured lifestyle of the town she was forced to move to, and that was based on the town where you were born in, and this book makes you America's first Noble Prize winner for literature, the town in which you were born will rename it's main street in your honor.

There are such a thing as wild chickens. They live in North Dakota.

When searching for the Northern Lights, don't go when it's cloudy. North Dakota is really, really dark when it's a moonless night.

Don't go swimming at the head of the Mississippi with your car keys in your pocket.

Don't under estimate Vikings. Not the football team (doubt they'll go far without Farvre), but real Vikings.

Katie - ism

Can I spray paint our dog to look like a panda?

Trip Data

On the Road:72, 73
Film Day: 50
Starting Point: Duluth, MN
Ending Point: Minneapolis, MN
Via: Headwaters of Mississippi, Fargo, ND
Miles: 334, 344

Ratio of amount of time driving to and from Fargo versus the amount of time spent working in Fargo: 8hrs 20min to 47min.
Real name of Duluth record store: Electric Fetus
Speed limit in North Dakota: 75
Number of North Dakota vegetarians met: 2
Cost of bottle of wine: 1/2 off
Number of bottles of wine: 4

Katie-ism

"So, if you can't have 'any gods before me', does that mean you're allowed to have gods after him?"
"I don't even know what that means."
"As long as God is your first god, then are you allowed to like Buddha too?"
"Like, Buddha is you're number two?"
"Well, yeah?"

Trip Data

On the Road: 69, 70, 71
Film Day: 49
Starting Point: Minneapolis, MN
Ending Point: Duluth, MN
Via: Interstate State Park
Miles: 52, 173, 262
Microbrews: 8
Number of times crossed WI, MN border: 87 (we canoed down it)
Time Mike forced Katie to listen to Bob Dylan: 2:40 hours (straight)
Type of burger: Wild Rice
Times Mike got shoosed by Katie because he spook during Mad Men: 4


Good bye Great Lakes. You have been good to us.